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5 comments

Fire can’t go through doors, stupid. It’s not a ghost.

I don't come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.

I quit doing blow, not being rad.

I would not miss it for the world. But if something else came up I would definitely not go.

We’ll definitely be back next year. If not, it’ll be because an asteroid has destroyed all human civilization. And that’s canon.

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

I don’t step up to being a leader. I reluctantly accept it when it’s thrust upon me.

No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don't tell them.

A little trick for achieving the proper competitive mindset: I always envision my opponent having aggresive sex with my mother.

I have cause. It is beCAUSE I hate him.